25 Groan-tastic Dad Jokes

Puns & Wordplay

• Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
• I used to hate fractions, but then I realized what a small problem they really are.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
• I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
• My girlfriend asked me to put the dishes away. I told her I couldn't, I was plate-lectic.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Did you hear about the comedian who got arrested? He stole every joke in the book.
• My friend's goldfish died. When I asked him if he was going to get another one, he said, "Nah, two's company, three's a crowd."

Knock-Knock Jokes

• Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Moo!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
• Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting chicken. Cluck who? Cluck you!
• Knock knock. Who's there? No one. No one who? No one there!
• Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To infinity and beyond!

Silly Situations

• I tried to catch fog yesterday. I mist.
• My wife told me to go find the light switch. I guess I'm still looking for the off switch.
• I went to the zoo the other day. It was pretty empty except for the one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.
• I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
• I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

Observational Humor

• I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I think my computer has a virus. The cursor keeps chasing the cat.
• My wife told me to take out the trash. I did, but it's raining now, so I guess I'll trash it in again.
• I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. I still haven't figured out which came first.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Bonus Groaners

• Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in a car accident? He's all right now.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
• I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I hate escalators. They're never stairs.
• Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.

Kind Regards:JokeKnock